thimking........
Feb. 17th, 2025 02:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
penceyperpone of my biggest regrets out of the billion or so that i have (guinness world record holder for most regrets) is that i stopped writing. i feel like writing was perhaps the only form of self-expression i had, and possibly the only real hobby i've ever had. 
i used to seriously love writing. i rarely finished anything (if ever), but i started something new almost every day, and it was fun, and it didn't matter that it was pointless or stupid. it didn't have to mean anything! it was just for me.
unfortunately, it's been almost a decade since i last even attempted to write something, and depression has rotted my brain so badly that i couldn't string a coherent sentence together even if i had a gun to my head. i know that the way i form thoughts has changed drastically; i used to draft my writing in my head first, and now i'm lucky if i have a thought that i understand. my head is no longer compatible with me. i need a translator. it's like a caveman grunting in there.
i've tried so many hobbies since then but none of them stick. sewing, clay, drawing (lmao), gaming... i've even tried learning languages, learning to code, learning to fix electronics, but it all ends the same. maybe these failures boil down to my inability to learn, or my inability to enjoy things, or just my general inability to just be.
so i'm in the market for a new hobby. it has to be idiot-proof and cheap. a baby should be able to do it and also afford it.
i used to seriously love writing. i rarely finished anything (if ever), but i started something new almost every day, and it was fun, and it didn't matter that it was pointless or stupid. it didn't have to mean anything! it was just for me.
unfortunately, it's been almost a decade since i last even attempted to write something, and depression has rotted my brain so badly that i couldn't string a coherent sentence together even if i had a gun to my head. i know that the way i form thoughts has changed drastically; i used to draft my writing in my head first, and now i'm lucky if i have a thought that i understand. my head is no longer compatible with me. i need a translator. it's like a caveman grunting in there.
i've tried so many hobbies since then but none of them stick. sewing, clay, drawing (lmao), gaming... i've even tried learning languages, learning to code, learning to fix electronics, but it all ends the same. maybe these failures boil down to my inability to learn, or my inability to enjoy things, or just my general inability to just be.
so i'm in the market for a new hobby. it has to be idiot-proof and cheap. a baby should be able to do it and also afford it.
